A Good Reminder

Each Thursday night I watch Erin while the choir practices at the Chastain's loft. We play, then get "soapy", and then we play some more. This week Erin squealed and smiled in the tub, playing with her letters and surprising me with her accuracy to identify all the letters and numbers floating in the water. She's so sweet and fun. It was then that I was reminded that at one time, each of my little mutant 6th grade students was a baby like Erin, squealing and smiling in a bathtub. I thought about how that time wasn't long ago (maybe 10 years, the time that has passed since I finished at Winthrop)and that the parents of these children feel the same way about them as I do Erin-and of course they love their own children even more. At least I hope they do, since I have seen the effects good, bad, and non-existent parenting in this community. I've seen parenting that doesn't reflect love and I get sad when I think of the parents who shame their students in front of me, or those who don't care about the life they brought into the world. It pains me most however, when I see parents enable their children to the point of creating students who can't function independently. Usually its the adult who has the issues, not the child. For example, there is a 7th grade student I teach who is walked to their locker every morning by their mom. I don't think the student wants their mom to do this, but mom is super protective. I want to scream at the mom, "let them go and become independent-you are making your child a target for bullies" but I know it's not my place. Enabling is a difficult conversation to strike up with a parent, since I don't have a child of my own. But I want to since I see it cause emotional trauma to students, and how it makes my job a living hell! I have graded homework that I KNOW was done by a parent-and when I called them to ask about it they admitted they did the work and they said it was ok to grade the work as the students...wow, what's wrong with that picture? It's the reason I call some of my students mutants, or pains, or simply unteachable. They know mom or dad will always rescue them and I feel like I can reach my students only when they realize that learning is up to them-not mom or dad, or anyone else-just them. I'll just have to keep that picture of Erin in the bath fresh in my mind, and try to help my students become independent young adults-with or without the help of their parents.